


Maybe I'm Amazed

by rizlowwritessortof



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2019-11-17
Packaged: 2021-02-08 03:37:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21469429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rizlowwritessortof/pseuds/rizlowwritessortof
Summary: Written for @rockhoochie's 1K Love Supernatural Style Writing Challenge on Tumblr.An accident leaves her unconscious and fighting for her life in the hospital, drifting in and out of awareness and memories as Dean refuses to leave her side.
Relationships: Dean x Unnamed female OC
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	Maybe I'm Amazed

“_Shit! __Shit__, shit, shit! __Oh, God… Baby, please… Please…”_

_She _ _could hear _ _him calling her name, _ _t_ _he desperation _ _obvious _ _in his voice, but _ _the sound was _ _muffled, far away, as if she were under water. _ _It was dark, _ _so dark… _ _Where in the hell was she? She tried to speak, but no sound came out, and before the fear that was beginning to bloom could fully emerge, _ _it all_ _ faded away…_

_~_ _~~~~_

She ducked, swinging upwards with the fireplace poker in her hand, temporarily disintegrating the spirit clawing at her shoulder. Dean was doing the same in another part of the room, the sounds of his battle joining with hers. “Come on, Sammy, we can only do this for so long!” he half-shouted, then landed on his back with a grunt of pain.

Firing a salt round behind her, she sprinted to the other side of the room and took a swing at the ghost that currently had its gnarled hands wrapped around Dean’s throat. “Fuck off!” she swore as it dissolved into a cloud of dusty smoke, and Dean climbed to his feet, his eyes searching for the next threat.

“Thanks.” His eyes widened as she was lifted from the ground, pulled backwards by an apparition that had materialized yet again, and she cried out in agony as its jagged claws pierced her shoulder. The creature slammed her against the wall, and she slid to the floor, half-conscious as it approached her for the kill.

Dean fired his sawed-off, scrambling to reach her, but as the vengeful spirit sank its claws into her again, a horrifying shriek filled the room. The spirits all became visible, glowing red and then turning to ash before disappearing before their eyes. She groaned, rolling to her side and slowly sitting up, looking up at Dean with a grimace of pain. “Ow. That sucked.”

He couldn’t help but smile as he reached to help her to her feet. “You okay? Let me see that shoulder.”

“It’s fine, really.”

“Let me see.” She sighed with a rueful smile, and stood, compliant, as he pulled her shirt to the side. “Can I?” he asked, reaching for the buttons. She nodded, her face warming as his fingers worked at the top two buttons of her shirt, then pulled it to the side to expose her shoulder. “Damn it. Might need a couple of stitches.” He looked down at her, and his brows drew together in concern. “You need to sit down? You look a little…”

“I’m okay. Just – adrenaline, you know? I’m all… wound up.”

His eyebrows raised, a faint smirk playing at the corners of his mouth. “Yeah? Well, sometimes when a hunt gets a little crazy…”

“Tension kind of builds up.” She looked at the floor. “Yep.”

“Sometimes the best thing to do is – ah – release the pressure.” His hand was still touching her skin, and he was closer now.

“Hmmm.”

“I could handle blowing off a little steam, too. You – uh…” Before he could finish, she threw her good arm around his neck and kissed him, both of them grunting as they lost balance and she bumped into the wall behind her. He pressed the full length of his body against hers, lips sealed in a searing kiss as his hand drifted down to her breast.

“Hey, guys,” Sam’s amused voice startled them apart, and Dean turned his back, swiping the back of his hand across his mouth.

“Took you long enough,” he grumbled as his brother laughed softly.

“Well, you’re obviously not dead.”

“No, but keep it up and you might be,” Dean muttered, and she couldn’t help but smile a little. He turned back towards her, one eyebrow cocked. “To be continued.”

~~~~~

_Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time_

_Maybe I’m afraid of the way I love you_

_She smiled, listening silently as Dean sang, just a little off-key, with Paul McCartney. His voice cracked a little as he sang the last line, and her smile faded. “Dean?” He turned slowly, his face the picture of barely contained anguish. “Dean – what’s wrong?” His face seemed to move farther and farther away, slowly vanishing…_

~~~~~

She walked, almost ran, until her legs burned, her vision blurred with her tears. “You don’t belong here!” he had shouted at her, “Why don’t you just go back home! Before you get yourself killed!” And then he had turned around and walked away from her, Sam staring after him with his mouth gaping, speechless at the force of Dean’s anger. Before he could even move, she had run up the metal stairs and out the door, not even bothering to close it behind her.

They had been eradicating a wolf pack, business as usual. When a straggler came home, finding the rest of his pack slaughtered, he had gone straight for her, pinning her to her back and going for her throat. Her pistol had been pinned beneath him, but she forced the barrel upwards as much as she could manage and fired, praying it would blow him back enough to keep his fangs from sinking into her flesh.

The monster had yelped as the silver burned into his gut, the heat from the shot searing her skin, but at least she hadn’t been bitten. Sam had appeared above her, lifting the yowling werewolf and tossing him to the floor, where Dean had fired four, five more shots into its chest.

“Did he bite you?” Sam had asked, frantic, and she was shaking her head as he pulled her to her feet. She had looked towards Dean, who had closed his eyes in relief, then opened them and stared at her, his jaw clenching, before turning his back and stalking out the door, slamming it behind him.

Sam had glanced her way, the confusion on his face mirroring her own. Dean had come back in, gas can in hand, snapping at them as he began dumping fuel over the bodies. “Come on, let’s get this shit cleaned up and get the fuck outta here.”

No one had spoken on the drive home, the air humming with tension. She had sat in the back seat, nervously picking at her fingers, afraid to even look up and meet Dean’s eyes in the rear view mirror. She had never seen him this angry, the muscles in his neck taut, his hands in a death grip on the steering wheel. She had mentally reviewed every step she’d taken, every move she’d made, trying without success to pinpoint what had set him off. Sam, for once, hadn’t even attempted to talk him down, and that, in itself, was frightening. And when they had reached the bunker, they had barely gotten out of the car before he had turned on her, furious, leaving her shaking and destroyed.

She stumbled blindly through the shallow ditch, dropping down beneath the nearest tree. She had no idea how long she’d been walking, how far she’d gone. She wrapped her arms around her knees, the damp cold of the autumn day beginning to steal the heat she had built up from her headlong flight from the bunker. Maybe she should call Sam, ask for his help. Or maybe she should just stay here. Because where was she going to go?

She heard, almost felt the rumble of the Impala’s engine before she saw the lights shining from some distance away. A flashlight shone out the driver’s side window, scanning the side of the road, searching for her. Sam must have come looking. At least she’d be saved the humiliation of a phone call.

The car was only about a quarter of a mile away when she heard Dean’s voice calling her name. He had actually come after her, she was shocked. She was shivering steadily now, cold to the bone, forcing herself to her feet as the Impala drew near. His flashlight beam drifted closer, passed over her and then came back to hold steady until the engine cut off and the door opened with its usual creak.

He was pulling his coat off as he climbed out of the car, meeting her halfway and draping the already warm jacket over her shoulders. He didn’t say a word, just ushered her to the passenger side door and helped her in, then circled back around, his face drawn and pale in the wash of the headlights. “Dean…” she began, but he held up a hand, stopping her, and she bit down on her lip almost hard enough to break the skin, afraid of what was coming.

“We have to get you warmed up.” He cranked the heater fan to high, and she stole a glance, her head hanging low. He was just sitting there, hands on the wheel, staring straight ahead. He took a deep breath and began to speak, his voice soft and subdued. “I’m sorry. I don’t… I’m such an asshole. I was… I was so fucking scared when that wolf took you down, I didn’t think you had a chance, it happened so fast. I thought you were gone. I thought we lost you. And then, when you were okay… all that fear just turned into – I was so pissed. Only not at you. At myself.”

She looked up in confusion. “Dean, it wasn’t your fault.” He turned to meet her gaze, his eyes full of guilt.

“The wolf – that wasn’t anybody’s fault. Definitely wasn’t yours. I was just so fucking mad because I tried so damn hard not to feel the way I feel about you.” She stared back at him, eyes wide and filling with tears, and he resisted the urge to look away, his expression almost pleading. “I know the last thing you wanna hear from me is how much I care about you, after I practically chased you away. Sam went looking for you right away, but he headed the wrong way, drove all the way to town before he gave up and came back. Then I took this way, hoping like hell that you were okay. I…”

She let her tears overflow, moving across the seat and silencing him with her lips on his. When she pulled back, he opened his eyes slowly, taking her face in his hands and kissing her again. “Dean…” she whispered, and he brushed her tears away with his thumbs.

“Let’s get you home.”

~~~~~

“_Why are you arguing with me about this, Sam?!__”_

“_I’m just worried about you, Dean. You’re not eating, you’re not sleeping, you won’t leave long enough to…”_

“_I told you, I’m not leaving her.”_

“_They’ll call us if anything changes.”_

“_I’m gonna be here when she wakes up.”_

_A muffled, tinny voice sounded over the PA system, interrupting Sam’s futile argument. “Dean Winchester, you have a phone call at the nurse’s station. Dean Winchester…”_

~~~~~

“Dean Winchester!! You are in deep shit, mister!” She was drenched, hair dripping in her face, shirt clinging to her body, rivulets of soapy water trickling down her back and between her breasts, soaking slowly into her jeans.

Dean was holding his belly with one hand, hooting with laughter, almost unable to stand upright. “Oh, honey, you look like a drowned kitten,” he choked out, dropping his now-empty weapon of the moment. The five-gallon bucket clattered to the ground as he tried to calm himself and catch his breath.

“I’m going to kill you.” Sounded like she meant it.

His face twitched with the struggle to stifle his laughter. “Baby, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, I just couldn’t stop myself.”

“Bullets or fire? Or I could just beat you to death. Your choice.” She wasn’t really mad – not any more. But he really owed her some groveling, at the very least.

He approached her slowly – very slowly - his hands out, palms up in supplication. “I really am sorry. I’ll help you get cleaned up. Dried off. Y’know, whatever you need, sweetheart.” His puppy eyes were on full power as he struggled to control the suppressed mirth playing on his lips.

“You know, I was going to use that water to wash the Impala.”

“I know. I don’t deserve you.’

“Damn straight you don’t.”

“Come on, let’s get you some dry clothes.” He reached out, extending a careful hand, but instead of coming with him, she jerked him closer and jumped up into his arms, pressing her soaking body against him and sharing the wealth. Now it was her turn to smile.

“Hmmm. Looks like I’m not the only one who needs dry clothes.”

“Nice.” He stared into her sparkling eyes, his smile slowly fading as he touched his lips to hers, melting into her as she responded. She drew back a little, brushing her nose against his, looking into his eyes.

“Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time,” she sang softly, and he kissed her again, dry clothes forgotten.

~~~~~

“_Maybe I’m amazed at the way you help me sing my song, right me when I’m wrong…” Paul McCartney sang softly, background to Sam and Dean’s voices._

“_Dean, I’ll stay with her every second. I promise. Just go grab a shower and an hour or two, at least.”_

_He let out an exhausted sigh. “Okay, Sam. You win. Two hours, no more. You’d better wake me up.”_

“_I promise, Dean. She’s gonna be okay.”_

“_She’d better be.”_

_She walked into the library, following the voices. Where were they? She was almost to the kitchen when Sam walked into the room. “Sam? Is everything okay?”_

“_Everything’s fine. Dean just needs to get some rest. He’s exhausted.”_

“_I keep telling him he’s got to take better care of himself! He always worries about everyone else…”_

“_He’ll be okay. I’m here. I’ll be here if you need anything.”_

_She looked at him, confused. “_ _Ooookay.._ _.”_

_He sat down at the table, a book in his hands. “I thought maybe I’d read to you for a while. I know you were in the middle of this one…”_

“_Sam? What’s going on?” Sam completely ignored her, beginning to read, one hand on the opposite page, his voice fading slowly along with the room around her._

_~~~~~_

“Lord of the Rings? Or Harry Potter?”

“Duh. Both!”

“Okay.” He looked up at her from beneath bunched brows, his expression grave. “Twilight?”

She made a gagging noise. “God, no!!”

“Good. That was a test.” Sam was grinning now, and she laughed.

“Cute, Sam. Cute.”

“Sorry, but you had to pass the test before I let you help with the Men of Letters library.”

“Well, I’m glad I lived up to the challenge. So, what are we doing?”

“Updating the card catalogs, for one. My goal, someday, is to have the books all listed on a database, find what we need without going through 15 shelves.”

“That would be sweet.”

“I know, right?” Sam’s voice echoed weirdly at his last word, and she squeezed her eyes closed as darkness closed in again.

~~~~~

“_Mr. Winchester, we’ve done all we can. The surgery repaired the internal bleeding, and the swelling in her brain has gone down. It’s up to her now. She will either wake up on her own, or…”_

“_She’ll wake up.” Dean’s voice was rough with exhaustion, and with absolute conviction._

“_I just want you to be prepared…”_

“_Thanks, doc, but I know her. She’s a fighter, she always has been. She won’t quit on me. She’ll wake up.”_

_The door closed softly. Weary footsteps, and then the bed shifted a little as he leaned on it, his hand closing around hers, his head on the pillow beside hers._

“_I need you to wake up, sweetheart. Sam needs you to wake up. I mean, my bad-ass girl is not going out like this, from a fucking drunk driver? No way. You’ve killed monsters. You’ve fought beside me and Sam and never __once quit. No way this stops you.” His breath caught in his throat, and he stopped for a moment, his voice wavering a little as he continued. “And I need you, damn it. That damn song you listen to all the time… You know the part where it says ‘maybe I’m afraid of the way I love you?’ Yeah, well, I used to be. I used to be scared to death of how I feel about you, but no more. I love you, and I fucking need you, and you have to come back home. Please.” He buried his face in her pillow, squeezing her hand._

It was more of a whisper than singing, but he heard it. “Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time.” Dean raised his head, his eyes shining with unshed tears at the sight of her eyes, open and looking back at him. “So thirsty.”

“Holy shit…. I’ll get you some water, and the doctor, hang on, baby, I’ll be right back,” he blurted out in one long breath, rushing to the door and calling out. “Nurse! Doctor, somebody, she’s awake!” He left the door ajar and came back to grab the ice water they had kept filled for her just in case, helping her take a few swallows before the medical team barged in.

A couple of days later she was on her way home, seated between the boys in the front seat of the Impala, and she couldn’t stop smiling. She was tucked into Dean’s side, head on his shoulder, the two boys were joking and talking and laughing and it was wonderful.

She stood in the library after they got inside, basking in the smell of books and coffee and maybe a little whiskey. Home. She yawned widely, and Sam grinned, coming over to give her a gentle hug. “Welcome home. And I gotta say, I’m not gonna miss that damn song playing 24/7. Dean had it on all the time for you at the hospital.”

“I heard it. I heard pieces of things the whole time, but then I’d – sleep, or pass out, or whatever and dream, almost like reliving memories. It all got kind of mixed up in my head, I guess.”

Sam stepped back and Dean took his place, hugging her close and kissing the top of her head. “I think we should get you to bed. And me. Damn, it’s gonna be good to be in my own bed tonight, and have you there with me.” He leaned back and bent down to kiss her, soft and lingering, then rested his forehead against hers. “Just one time for me, okay?”

She smiled, her eyes stinging a little at the love shining in his, and sang quietly. “Maybe I’m amazed at the way you love me all the time…” His smile made her breath catch in her throat, and then he was leading her from the room.

As they passed Sam’s door, he shot her a wicked grin and belted out part of the song at the top of his lungs, off-key and full of the pure joy of torturing his brother. “Maybe I’m a man, maybe I’m a lonely man who’s in the middle of something that he doesn’t really understand…”

“DEAN!”

“G’night, Sam!” she called out behind her, Dean laughing as they continued down the hall.


End file.
